#MeToo - but it's not what you think....

In light of all the women who've accused film producer Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault and misbehavior, and the millions more who have shared their own personal experiences with the hashtag "#MeToo", as a woman who works in a mostly male field (FX Caprara Motorcyle Dealership) I felt the need to speak out on this particular subject. 

It seems I've always interacted with 'the guys' better than I do other women. My first job in Northern California was on a Rent String Ranch (people would rent horses by the hour & I was one of the guides) - about 50/50 split between the guys & girls. Then auto shop & FFA in high-school - mostly if not all guys there. After that I got into modeling where the majority of photographers & agents were male. I went to college for Medical Assisting where, after getting a job in my chosen field, the doctors and physician assistants I worked with were predominantly men. Now I've been working at Harley-Davidson dealerships for nearly ten years and, if you haven't guessed it already, the ratio of men to women is about 4 to 1.

By no means am I taking away from the women who have had to deal with guys like Harvey - their stories are real and, at times, horrifying. All throughout the years there have been times when I was taken advantage of, without a doubt. Under paid, over worked, unwanted 'hugs' that were inappropriate, stalked, dismissed, and more, all because of my sex. 

But my #MeToo is looking at this issue from the other side -I've also used my sex to my benefit. I've batted my eyelashes and gotten out of speeding tickets (not every time tho), had doors opened for me, day trips and long weekends where my every need was taken care of without having to pay a cent, and all the meals & drinks I

didn't pay for. I had one of my guy friends ask me how I'd gotten a particular part to fix my car for free; I pointed at my breasts and said, "Thanks to my girls." (To clarify, I didn't lift my shirt to expose myself -I do have my limits! I just happened to have a low cut shirt on.)

I think the movie Erin Brockovich (starring Julia Roberts) sums it up best. The scene where Albert Finney's character asks why she [Erin/Julia] is going to get all the information they need to make their case. "They're called boobs, Ed," was her matter of fact reply.

The list of what the EEOC has determined is "sexual harassment" has several items I've done: facial expressions, touching another employee's clothes, neck massages (only when asked), hugging, giving gifts (birthdays and holidays), and sexual innuendos. 

We have fun at work telling jokes and stories. I hug repeat customers - both male & female. While it's true you'll rarely see me in a dress, I still like dressing up and wearing make-up and being noticed. I like when guys whistle at me (especially the older I get). It feels good! Maybe it's just being a biker-chic kind of thing...? 

I guess what I'm saying is to not go off the deep end- deciding that each look, glance, touch and request is about sex/power. Realize that some women choose to use their gender to their benefit. Of course I firmly believe that assault, sexual or otherwise, is never ok and should be reported. But I also believe in what Eleanor Roosevelt once said:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.