Life's Not Fair... (Get Used To It)

That's what I was told growing up by my father. Even though I have a half-sister and half-brother (my dad's first marriage), they were in their late teens when I was born, so I was essentially an 'only child'. 

Of course I had chores and I thought I worked my butt off, so when I was denied the pony I thought I deserved after all my 'hard' work, I cried, "That's not fair!!"

My dad would come right back with, "Life isn't fair... might as well get used to it now."

I thought that was incredibly cruel. This was my father -the person who was supposed to protect and fight for me!! But up until my 8th or 9th birthday I'd go to him with some perceived injustice only to hear the same response:

"Life's not fair D.C., get used to it"

My parents divorced when I was 12 and my mom was granted custody. I'd visit my dad during the holidays and for a month in the summer, although I stopped going to him for help. 

I was surprised at age 18 when he bought me my first car -a 1982 Ford Escort with a 4-speed manual transmission. Of course I didn't have a clue how to work a stick-shift, so he gave me a quick lesson and then left me to figure it out myself. I wanted to cry, "Why couldn't you have gotten me an automatic??!" but knew I'd only hear the old reply... I must have stalled that car at least 500 times! Although I eventually figured it out for myself, with the help of Kim (my BFF from high-school).

Fast forward to January 2019. Krissi (FX Caprara Harley-Davidson's Motorclothes Manager) and myself head out to Phoenix, Arizona for the General Merchandise Rally (formerly known as the Winter Dealer Meeting) put on by the MoCo each winter.

It's our chance to see the clothing that Harley has coming out for Fall & Winter 2019 up close, trying them on, seeing how they fit (there are certain details you just don't see in a catalog). You can see the H-D Moto, 1903 and Garage collection runway shows on the Life Behind Bars Youtube Channel. Licensed Vendors are there too, with their t-shirts, jewelry, purses, wallets, barware, signs, holiday decor, and more.

Because the rally only lasts two days, we took advantage of the 70°F temps and sunny skies, getting outside every chance we got. As tempting as it was to stay, we both have family & friends we wanted to come home to (and who wanted us home!). 

But Winter Storm Harper had other ideas. At first we were supposed to fly on Saturday to Charlotte, and then on to Syracuse, except that was landing 6:30pm EST -right when the storm was expected to hit. So our flight was changed to Chicago and from there to Syracuse, landing at 2:30... however the storm had hit Chi-town first and our flight from Phoenix was delayed 2½ hours (but that did allow us to see a desert sunrise). 

Eventually we did make it to Chicago, only to learn our connecting flight to Syracuse had been cancelled. Called the airline- they got us on a flight to Boston to get a flight back to Syracuse on Sunday... so we spent the night at Best Western O'Hare with Shoeless Joe's Ale House & Grill right next door. Krissi and I had the best meal of the entire trip there!!

And then later that night, with Winter Storm Harper still pounding the Northeast, we learned our connecting flight from Boston to Syracuse had been cancelled. The airlines wouldn't be able to get us home until Wednesday.... three days later! 

Left to our own devices we decided to rent a car and drive the 12 hours (under normal conditions) back to Syracuse -thanks to road conditions and a couple patches of lake effect snow that turned into 15 hours with the big, beautiful Wolf Blood Moon to guide us.

Along the way Krissi and I talked about a number of things (and also some car-pool karaoke!), and our upbringing was one of the topics. I told her about my dad and his quote... and how I realized years ago that my father's so-thought cruelty was actually love, instilling me with certain survival skills. Giving me a 'Biker mentality'. 

The knowledge that Life isn't fair at times has given me the ability to appreciate the small victories when they come and to carry-on despite what others see to be a set back. More than a few people would be stopped in their tracks, playing the victim and screaming how life isn't fair. Of course there's a grieving process, but we must keep moving forward if we are to survive. 

By learning that life isn't and will never be fair when I was young has given me the ability to discard one plan to get home and make another one. 

Thanks Dad!